Kissing is a profound and sensual expression of intimacy between partners. It has the power to evoke immense pleasure and kindle the flames of passion within us. Deep, intimate kisses can awaken our senses and make us feel truly alive.
A conscious kiss means you are fully present with your partner in that moment in time and not thinking about your to-do list or how stressed you are or where to from here. It means you take the time to intentionally connect with your partner in this magical moment, that you really see your partner’s eyes, and that you take the time to hear their breath, that you smell their body and that you ‘be’ with his / her heart as you choose to pleasure each other with your tongues and mouth. Be so deeply present, feel your feet on the ground, connect with your breathing and allow the sensations and feelings to unfold.
Kissing has many benefits such as:
- promotes pleasure
- is a stress reducer
- boosts your immunity
- ramps up your feelings of sexiness and fabulousness creating a strong sense of self-esteem
- strengthens emotional bonds and connection
- ignites the energy and eroticism between the two of you
- can be fun and playful
- releases dopamine that can elevate mood and create a sense of happiness and contentment
- makes you feel wanted and desirous
- can create deeper intimacy between you and your partner
- calorie burn
- keeps your facial muscles strong (researchers concluded that we use 30 facial muscles when we French kiss)
Overall, kissing is not only enjoyable but also offers a range of physical, emotional, and social benefits that contribute to overall well-being and relationship satisfaction.
For so many of us, kissing is a prelude, something we do that leads to something else. And for some people, it’s something they have to do to get to the next step.
Conscious kissing is an incredible ‘moment of being’; it can be profoundly sacred and intensely erotic.
Many years ago, when I worked with amazing couples within my psychotherapy practice, I always would ask ‘Do you passionately kiss?’ and/or ‘Are you kissing?’ And often the answer would be ‘no!’ I have heard many people both men and women share that they rarely kiss their partners. Most of them are in a long-term relationships. It is a disconnection and a pulling away from the relationship and over time, this slowly begins to erode the relationship and can make one feel like they are living with a roommate rather than with a passionate and connected partner. Life is meant to be pleasurable and joyful. To keep things sizzling as well as loving, each partner must consciously everyday ‘choose’ – choose to take the time to continuously invest in their relationship and DON’T stop kissing!! I would encourage my couples to get kissing without the intention of it leading to something else.
It truly helps to keep your love tank full and revving on high! In my experience, at times, one of you may need to lead for a little while until balance is restored within the relationship.”
So, I dare you to start kissing and be conscious with your kissing. Have fun, be cheeky, be bold and have beautiful fun. You are worthy and deserving of living a turned-on life!
I also share with permission this beautiful and powerful piece of writing by Jonti Searll.
This Conscious Kiss
Kissing is one of the most intimate acts we can share with a partner, in fact there are times when kissing is more intimate than sex. Kissing brings us closer together than anything. Because kissing is so intimate, it also expresses our emotional state.
Kissing is the sharing of our essence. In the exchange of fluids and breath we mix ourselves with our lovers.
Our kiss is a communication. As well as being arousing it’s a journey we take our partners and ourselves on. In the delicate touch of lips and tongues we tell where we are. Our intention, our love and our desire are communicated in the moment.
We can bring ourselves into presence during our kiss. It’s not just a prelude to sex, rather a world of sensation and emotion on its own. When we’re present during a kiss it has no need to go anywhere, be anything other than the beautiful connection it is.
We can ride the waves of gentleness and fire, kissing slow and soft, hard and deep and urgent. Our mouths become the expression of all that is within us at that moment. My hand in your hair pulling you to me as I share my fire with you. My hands on your face surrounding you, enclosing us in connection.
Kissing is playing, celebrating our joy in each other.
Kissing is sex and lovemaking on its own. We get lost in the taste, in the sensation. My whole body, my whole being, my heart is expressed in my kiss. It’s a dance of energy as we move in and out and around each other. It’s the song of our intimacy in our sighs and our moans. And it’s the portal to lovemaking divine in the sacred element of our kiss.
There are times when kissing is not a prelude to anything else. It’s not foreplay, it’s not going anywhere other than right here, right now. It’s presence in this delicious feast of your mouth.
Conscious Kissing allows for deep sharing, intimacy and love through the beauty of the feelings and sensations of our mouths. We get lost in ourselves, in each other, in the moment. And it becomes a time of love making us.
When I teach massage and touch it begins with a Heart Connection. You can do the same with your mouth. Connect with your Heart, feel your Heart Centre in the middle of your chest. Maybe even put your hands there. As you breathe, imagine that you’re breathing in to your Heart. There might be a feeling, a sensation, a warmth, a colour…
As you breathe, allow that to get stronger, brighter, more intense…Then as you breathe, allow that to move to your mouth, let it be in your lips, in your tongue, in your teeth, everywhere…When your mind wanders during your kiss, come back to your breath. Then focus on the feelings and sensations you’re experiencing. This will intensify the moment.
Look into your lover’s eyes.
Look deep.
Open yourself to being seen.
Bring the energy from your Heart into your gaze.
Approach them slowly.
Come closer, a little closer, a little closer.
There’s such anticipation in this, and something else.
You’re entering each other’s energy in a deeply intimate way.
This slowness allows all of your being to meet theirs, softly. There’s an opening to each other from your hearts.
A greeting of The Divine in you, in your lover, coming together in a sacred kiss.
Allow the first moment to be soft, to be gentle, a greeting, a melting…
Rest against each other.
Feel in the stillness.
Feel their entire being in their lips against yours.
Explore all of their mouth, their lips, their teeth, their tongue…
Suck their top lip into your mouth, then their bottom lip…
Gently bite and nibble their lips, then not so gently…
As you suck their top lip, they suck your bottom lip…
Be absolutely passive, allow them to kiss and explore you, to lick your lips, circle their tongue on your lips, in your mouth…
Mirror each other’s dance, whatever they do, you do…
Sigh your breath, your moan, your love, your desire into their mouth…
Slowly, so slowly you kiss…
And then a wave of passion as I grab you with my arms, squeeze you as I kiss you hard and deep…
Wrap my hand in your hair, pull your throat open and bring the fire of my desire into my mouth, my tongue…
Change your position, the angle of your mouth on theirs…
Laugh as you kiss…
Look into each other’s eyes as you kiss…
Suck their tongue into your mouth…
Surround their mouth with yours…
Lick outside their lips…
This kiss, this Conscious Kiss, is making love, and love making itself, through the holy meeting of your mouths.
These images of Penny and David from their engagement photoshoot are shared with utmost respect and love.
Imagery // Hannah Gilbert Photographer // Words written by Robyn Bull & Jonti Searll