your wedding vows

writing your wedding vows

Imagery by Rohit Jhawar Photography, Little Birdy Photography, Words by Robyn Bull

Consider what your two hearts want to deeply express to each other, in this sacred moment as you visualise standing side by side with this amazing person that you are choosing life with, on your Wedding Day.

This time is a powerful exchange of promise, sincere bravery of your two hearts and the raw honesty of hope.

Vow writing can be a daunting process for many couples. Love lets you find those hidden places in another person and writing your vows is a beautiful glimpse into your own love story and the awe in the little details. May these tips guide you, love you and celebrate your beautiful connection and support your ‘hearts’ sharing, the perfect words for your Wedding Day.

spend time, just the two of you

You may have completely different ideas about your wedding vows, so spend time discussing what your vision is for this part of your Wedding Ceremony.

Ask yourself: Will your vows be humorous, poetic, fun, traditional or romantic? Will the wording of your vows be similar, or will you make different promises to each other? Are you going to surprise each other on the day? What are your intentions in writing your wedding vows? Do you want to share the things you love most about each other and why you’ve made the decision to get married? Do you want your vows to be more light-hearted and fun? Or do you want them to be more formal? Being clear re your intention will ensure that there is a beautiful connection and organic synchronicity between your vows.

writing your wedding vows

Give yourself time away from the busyness of life. Spend time writing from your heart. Ask yourself this question – ‘if my heart could write to you my vows, my promise – it might write….?’ Allow what needs and wants to be written and write and write and write. This question might sound rather odd, however is a powerful question to drop into your heart away from what the head thinks it should write.

A little note, when you sit down to write, feel your body in the chair, feel your feet on the floor, take a deep breath and imagine looking at your partner on your wedding day and let the words flow, be vulnerable, be honest, be brave and be the beautiful you.

Remember, your first draft does not have to be perfect and grammatically correct. Allow yourself to sit with your words, be present with them and allow what pops out to you from your intuitive heart. The most important aspect is beginning.

how long should your wedding vows be?

Your Wedding Vows have no rules, though typically your vows could range anywhere between 1-3 minutes. Have a conversation with each other on the approximate length of your vows. Know that this is your Wedding Day, and this is your time to say what it is that you want to say!

some suggestions

Notice the words and statements that stand out from below, notice how you feel within your heart and body when you read them. Choose the ones that flow and bring ease to the process. You can either do this together or separately.

you could begin your vows in any of the following ways

  • The first thing I noticed about you was… (explain)
  • You took my breath away when… (share that moment)
  • I love you because… (this is where you can include the fun, quirky things here)
  • Our love story began… (when? where?)
  • I realised that I loved you… (when? why?)
  • You have been my… (explain)
  • I want to spend the rest of my life… (doing what with you)
  • You inspire me… (in what way?)
  • I knew I wanted to marry you when… (explain)
  • Our connection is all about… (what are your shared values, dreams, visions, hopes?)
  • I most admire you because… (say)
  • Since we met… (how your life has changed and/or improved)
  • My intention is… (what is your intention as you move forward into your wedding and marriage?)

you could end your vows in any of the following ways

  • I promise…
  • Thank you for…
  • With you by my side…
  • To me, marriage with you (insert name) means…

practise, practise, practise

In the lead up to your Wedding Day, practise, practise, practise reading your vows out loud.

Check in with the words that you are saying, ask yourself ‘How does it sound? How does it feel? Is this the message I want to portray to my partner and give out to the world? Does it mean what you want it to mean?

on your wedding day

You will stand on your Wedding Day opposite your partner (in witness) in front of your family and friends and say your vows. This is a moment in time that you will remember for the longest times and of course you may be feeling a little nervous and anxious.

So, as you stand together, remember to take a breath, feel your feet, feel them within your shoes and feel them connect you into the earth and the ground beneath you and allow your words to come from your soul’s heart.

make a copy of your vows for your wedding day

It is important to think how your vows will look on the day. Consider reading them from a beautiful vow book.

Your vow book is also a special keepsake and reminder for the many years to come in your own beautiful ‘love story.’